Sometimes I just want to write down what’s happening in our lives. I want to be able to look back when I’m 102 and feel that pang for things that were. I fear that if I don’t get them down on paper (or the internet) I won’t remember the day to day things that are so important to recall.
Here, in no particular order, are some random things that I have been pondering lately.
I envy the mommy bloggers. They are memorializing all the little day to day things that I know are forgotten from when my kids were small. Some things stick out in my mind, but so many others are just….gone.
I know that part of the reason that I’m feeling this angst is because Denton and I are literally living out this last season with children at home. Hayden is at our local community college and Liv is finishing up her last couple of years of high school right now. I can feel that thread with them stretching thinner and thinner. And if I let myself think about too much, it’s a physical pain. To know that we are going to have to allow it to break, so that they can go out and make their lives the way they are supposed to do. My God how brave our parents were/are. I don’t know how they stood it. I was twenty two when I got married. I had never lived away from home. I honestly do not know how they stood back and let me take that flying leap.
In other, less depressing news, Denton and I are making more of an effort with date days. Apparently we are old (according to Liv) and date nights are not our thing. Date days though, that a thing for us right now. Denton laughingly told me that his and my versions of dates are profoundly different though. The last two weeks we have spent them either at Lowes picking out things for the house or meeting strange people from Craigslist and buying other things
we I want. I can’t wait to show you what I got for my birthday. Here’s a hint:
Other thoughts that have crossed my mind lately are: how do you live out love? Example: At Christmas with my family, which was at Thanksgiving, hahahaha, I sewed buttons onto one of my brother’s shirts for him. He had just casually mentioned one day while we were there that he had a brand new shirt that he couldn’t wear because one of the buttons had popped off. I told him to bring it up to our Mama’s the next day and I would sew it back on for him.
One of the kids said, “Can’t you sew it on yourself?!?”. That let to an interesting conversation. Why yes, my brother can sew it on himself because I used to make him sew blankets for my barbies when we were little. LOL. I didn’t remember that! The point though, to me, was this. He is a grown man, perfectly capable of sewing his own button back on his shirt. BUT, while we were home, sitting around with one another and having great conversations and time together, this was something tangible that I could do for him to show him how much he means to me.
Have you heard about people’s word of the year? I had never heard of this phenomenon until Crystal at the Money Saving Mom mentioned what hers was a few years ago. It still didn’t really mean anything to me. This year she chose SLOW as her word. That’s when it finally clicked in my brain why she was choosing these words each year.
Once our kids got to be about thirteen or so, that’s when we slowed things down at our house greatly. We deliberately chose not to…. – I don’t want to use the word force here, but it sort of fits – …..encourage them to join everything. By this time, all of us felt like they knew what they liked and didn’t like. Both of them knew they didn’t want to invest the time and energy and money into soccer. So we took that off our schedules and wallets. When they were little we wanted to expose them to so many things that they could possibly be interested in, but once they got so old, they had definite opinions about what they liked and disliked.
I have to say it felt so good to slow down. Hayden honed in on his music, piano particularly and Liv has her art. They have both grown into their love for each of their things in ways I don’t think they would have if they had continued to do MANY things.
So I get it now!! I don’t have any idea what I would choose as a word for my year. But, I’m still liking SLOW.