When my kids were really small, about 1 and 3, we lived next door to a lady that they called Granny Joyce. She was in her late sixties at the time and they loved her just like she was their Grandmother. Actually for a few years, I think they did believe that she was their Grandmother. Since all but two of their grandmother’s lived over twelve hours away, this was a win for everyone. She was literally next door and always happy to see them when they were outside.
We lived next door to one another for about 4 years and over that four years we had many, many great times together.
On one of those many times, Hayden my oldest, did something that apparently didn’t stick with me, but for the life of me I cannot remember what the horrible transgression was now. If I had to guess, I would say it was something nefarious like whacking her front porch with his sword, or wrecking his little bike into her tree. You know, punishable offenses for sure.
Whatever the heinous offense, I asked him to apologize to Granny Joyce. Before he could even open his mouth, she turned to me and said “Don’t you teach that baby to lie!” Well, I was dumbfounded. When I asked her what she meant, she said “He isn’t sorry (for whatever he did) and by making him apologize for it wasn’t teaching him anything but how to lie”. Hmph. I am trying my best to raise kids who don’t grow up to be murderers and thieves and now she’s telling me I’m creating liars. Great.
I have to say, I really didn’t know what to think about this at the time. I mean you want your kids to be polite, but she did have a point. He hadn’t done whatever it was out of meanness, but if he had and I had forced him to apologize for it, she would be exactly right. It would have been a lie.
It made me think over the years when I was about to dole out parental wisdom and actually change my mind about some of the things that I said and did as a Mom. I will always be forever grateful for the time we spent living next door to Granny Joyce. She taught me many, many things over those years, some that I hope turned me into a better Mama.
What do you think?