A friend of mine was bummed a few days ago because he was pulled over and given a speeding ticket.  After telling me what had happened, I decided to cheer him up and relate my (last) experience of getting a speeding ticket, because my life is filled with hilarity.

It is a sad state of affairs when things start happening to your body in your 30’s (and early 40’s – VERY early 40’s) that you never dreamed could happen to you in your teens and twenties.  I am looking at you darling daughter. 🙂  Anywho, at my last cleaning my hygienist paused and said I’ll be right back. Okayyyy.  If you’re like me you never want anything to be different when you’re at the Doctor.  Get in, get on the chair, table, etc., and get out. Yay!  Pausing and “I’ll be right back” are not normal.  Insert sad Price is Right sound here.  Bringing Dr. D. my dentist back with her is not a good sign either.  She says “I’ve never seen anything like this, what is it?”.  And Dr. D. cheerfully informs her that it is a cavity on the roots of my teeth from MY RECEDING GUMS!  Whaaa?  I didn’t even know that could happen.

Fast forward a few weeks to the appointment where Dr. D. is going to take care of this little problem, which was about as enjoyable as you can imagine.  He loaded me up with Novocaine and took care of business.

Now, I’ve had Novocaine before, just like I’ve had cavities before (unlike a certain husband who has perfect, cavity free teeth).  I’ve never noticed ANY side affects before.  Maybe this is another, you are not 22 anymore Tracie, moment.

I leave Dr. D’s office, go about a mile down the road, see the school in session sign blinking, keep going, wave at the state trooper as I go by and become really startled when I see him pull out behind me and turn on his pretty blue flashing lights.  Pull over at the school, and I am truly surprised when he pulls in behind ME.  The following is our conversation as best I can remember.

Me: Hi!  State Trooper:  Ma’am, did you see the flashing speed limit sign?

Me:  Yes, yes I did!  ST:  Do you know how fast you were going?  Me:  Yes, yes I do!   I was going the speed limit!  45!  ST:  Ma’am, when that light is flashing, the speed limit is 25 as it’s posted.

Me:  No!  I am positive that flashing sign said 45!  ST:  No ma’am, it does not.

Me:  Seriously!  Are you sure!?!  I am pretty sure that sign said 45 because I just drove past it!  ST:  Smiling now  Ma’am, where have you been today?

Me:  The dentist! Smiling right back  ST:  Did they give you anything at the Dentist?  Me:  Yep, Novocaine!

ST:  Still smiling  Did they give you anything besides Novocaine? Me:  Nope!               ST:  Ma’am, I’m going to have to issue you a citation for speeding in a school zone.    Me:  NOOOOOO!

Oh dear Lord, I can’t even imagine what that State Trooper thought, because when I got home about 15 minutes later, my entire family insisted that I was acting like a complete lunatic, that I needed to sit down and stop waving my arms about and to PLEASE STOP TALKING and it’s a miracle that he didn’t haul me in because he thought I was high or on drugs.  Uhmm.

Apparently my system does not process Novocaine the way it did when I was 11.  Although, now that I think about it, I remember my mother saying something about me acting this way when I had my wisdom teeth out at 17…..

Also, I’m much, much poorer, because I had to pay for a speeding ticket in a school zone.